constellation

you find the silence out there, you find the peace. you go and you will never come home. and then one day when it is the right time you ask them how lucky they are to be here. at some point it is so strange how some things we do change our lives entirely. it might be a happening, a person, something unbelievable and strange it could not possibly happen to you at all.
some things go and some things stay. like friends. they might say one thing and actually mean the opposite. once they mean what they say they stay right beside you. they never leave you, never forget you. they might leave the stage for some time or even you might go to other place but you will find again. real friends do not disappear or leave you. you can rely on real friends. my real friends have been with me over 15 years now. at some point of my life somwhow i forgot them, i did not talk to them as much i was used to. they stopped talking back, did not call me out because they knew that this it was a waste of time. and then i changed. somehow i returned to my previous life and yet on the other side i was different person. i valued my friends because the saw the problem and i did not. so they knew that i am not being the same person at all, they knew i will return. i promised myself i will never jeopardize my friendships with that kind of action. it's not worth it. i have done the right thing. i will always have my real friends who can lean on me and whom i can trust.

yesterday i asked myself how lucky i am to be here. i am. i am happy the way i am and whom i have become. it's my personality and if i do good or bad things then that's just me. you just have to accept me as i am. because i know i am taking you the way back. all of you. i do not expect things from you. things like actions of meanings of acts. and i do not do things just to get something back for what i have done.

Lost in the loveliness
Of your beautiful otherness