Flying. Some turbulence makes it feeling like real flying. It makes you feel that you are really flying. I like it. Plus it makes you more sleepy, at least it helps with me. I remember how much i wanted to fly and to go to the States in the spring time. I was so messed up, i wasn't the same anymore. Nobody asked whats wrong with me. Nobaody cared. But i knew what was wrong. I needed an change in my life. Something different, something knew.
Now i have it. Deep in my heart and mind. My soul has healed and i feel better. But i feel that i don't want to go back home. I have to. But deep in me i want to go back to the mountains to my new friends. The ones who were always there when i needed them and where we had those connections.
It is so different being with americans and with international people. Somehow it feels more home talking and being together with people who are closer to your home, like Germany, Spain or Slovakia. I got really close with Jorge, we had so many things to talk about and so many things in common, in the Y. And Marie and Lucia. I just don't have enough good words to describe them, there's so many things to say and i had so few time to say anything. Right now i have so many things to say them, but it wouldn't make the same to write these things down and then let them read it. I want to say those things to them personally, like we did. Last night was a really good good-bye evening. We were talking and laughing. And ofcourse the dinner at Sunday evening with all of us, including Gerard who left yesterday.
To Lucia and Marie - I miss u girls so much, and you can't even imagine how much. I was listening to that song from Röyksopp ( the one You liked most) and instantly i remembered you. It's so strange how some things affect you and your friendship with some of the most nicest people from the world. I appreciate what you did to me and how you changed my points of views of life in that short time.
Jorge and Gerard - the last 2 weeks i spend living with you guys in the same room. It was awesome. I'll never forget the room Howard 206 and spending the nights in room 222 with the girls and Slav. You were the best roommates i've ever had and wanted. Thanks!
(I'm listening to my favourite band from Estonia, Jäääär, my friends should know that, for sure Thomas and Kairit and Katrin. It's just amazing how good songs they have. And it's estonian. I wish all my friends could understand estonian and get the message from their songs.
Slav - you were my hero at some points. You were like a good friend with the best advice you can get from anybody. I loved the conversations we had.
Sitting in that plane, and having all those moments passing by in my eyes. I close my eyes and i see all those best things that happened to me this summer. I'll never forget the 4th of july with Becca and the girls, all the time i spend with Becca, conversations and late night talkings about our lives; going to South Dakota and all the best things that happened with me on that trip; late night talkings in Lucia and Marie's room; and the mountains. There's so many things i'd like to say about the summer, the best moments, but it'd take so much time and space to write it down and in deep my heart i know all those moments and feelings i had. And they'll never leave me...
I'm sitting behind some families with little kids. 14 and 15 month old kids. And the fun they have and the crying and then parents having those happy faces after they babies have fallen asleep. That all makes me feel that i want to have kids. Sooner or later, i'd rather have them sooner, but i know that it's not going to happen that soon. I still have some time, but still that makes me feel so happy about that. I want to know those feelings too. Feeling that you get after your baby has fallen asleep after long and painful crying. I saw that dad holding his son in his arms and meanwhile listening to music to not to get distracted of that loud cry. Somehow it's working. And that at least 55 year old dad with his 14 month old son having that great time laughing and playing and watching cartoons and laughing.
My brother Erkki got his second son this night. It's so great and awesome. I feel so happy for them and especially for Madis who is getting a little brother now to play with. I bet he is really happy about that. And i am and i want to see my mom's face. She is really proud and happy about that thing, i'm pretty sure.
I miss my family, i miss my dad. I thought that i get a chance to see my dad as soon as possible. I had this plan to go and visit him next day and talk with him. But i think i don't get the chance to see him before a week, because of the biking marathon. I got this letter from my supervisors from Marathon club that they need me to organize the event as soon as possible because that person with whom i'm doing it together had an accident and can't do almost anything. I feel good about getting that chance, but i'd rather have some time for something else. Something i've been waiting for so long, things that i have missed most while being away from home. i guess i just have to wait for some time.
Hannah - Su hellitav hääl. I just can't describe the music Hannah is making. I want to see her again in the concert, hopefully she's going to give a concert in the Christmas time, like last year. I'm going 105% for sure. Hopefully with somebody, not alone. Her music makes me feel more like loved. Life is not that bad even when you have to leave one of the most best friends of your life. But as Marie said, the friendship you get, doesn't matter if the time is short or long you spend with them, you get the best of it and you'll never forget those people, those friends. I'm really looking forward seeing them again as soon as possible, and the time Marie or Lucia are coming to Estonia. Or who ever else. Anybody can come and you don't know how happy i'd be to see the friends again back in Estonia visiting me.
I'm really happy living the life i have. I'm happy having those emotions and people surrounding me all the time, bad or good ones. I love my life and i love my friends and my family. I know, one day if i die, i have lived the best i can take out of my life. So thank you everybody. Your love has always place in my heart and soul.
Thank You!
Leidmata Sind jäin püüdma su häält,
Leidmata sind hääbus see päev,
Leidmata sind nii vaikseks jäi maa,
sinuta hing olla ei saa.
Thanks for the best time ever. Thanks for saying good bye. I'm crying and sad, i didn't want to leave this place at all. I wish you could see into my heart and inside me, and feel those feelings i have for you. I wanted to leave the Y right after my american friends left, because i didn't know anybody else and i felt so alone. I wanted to go back home because my friends are there. Right now i have a feeling that my true friends are you guys. It sounds crazy but i didn't have any that kind of close friends. I wish we had more time to be together and maybe to be friends forever. I know that i won't forget you and we still be friends forever but i'd like to see you everyday, go to all places, have fun and be there for each other when we need it most.
The love you gave me. The way you treated me and accepted me as i am. How you saw inside of me and realized what kind of person i am. It's just not the blue eyes and blond hair. There's more inside of me and you saw that.
Again, thanks for the great time and the friendship i will have for the rest of my life. I want to see you guys as soon as possible. Thanks for everything!!
Sven
i don't know which way i'm going
i don't know which way i've come
Now i have it. Deep in my heart and mind. My soul has healed and i feel better. But i feel that i don't want to go back home. I have to. But deep in me i want to go back to the mountains to my new friends. The ones who were always there when i needed them and where we had those connections.
It is so different being with americans and with international people. Somehow it feels more home talking and being together with people who are closer to your home, like Germany, Spain or Slovakia. I got really close with Jorge, we had so many things to talk about and so many things in common, in the Y. And Marie and Lucia. I just don't have enough good words to describe them, there's so many things to say and i had so few time to say anything. Right now i have so many things to say them, but it wouldn't make the same to write these things down and then let them read it. I want to say those things to them personally, like we did. Last night was a really good good-bye evening. We were talking and laughing. And ofcourse the dinner at Sunday evening with all of us, including Gerard who left yesterday.
To Lucia and Marie - I miss u girls so much, and you can't even imagine how much. I was listening to that song from Röyksopp ( the one You liked most) and instantly i remembered you. It's so strange how some things affect you and your friendship with some of the most nicest people from the world. I appreciate what you did to me and how you changed my points of views of life in that short time.
Jorge and Gerard - the last 2 weeks i spend living with you guys in the same room. It was awesome. I'll never forget the room Howard 206 and spending the nights in room 222 with the girls and Slav. You were the best roommates i've ever had and wanted. Thanks!
(I'm listening to my favourite band from Estonia, Jäääär, my friends should know that, for sure Thomas and Kairit and Katrin. It's just amazing how good songs they have. And it's estonian. I wish all my friends could understand estonian and get the message from their songs.
Slav - you were my hero at some points. You were like a good friend with the best advice you can get from anybody. I loved the conversations we had.
Sitting in that plane, and having all those moments passing by in my eyes. I close my eyes and i see all those best things that happened to me this summer. I'll never forget the 4th of july with Becca and the girls, all the time i spend with Becca, conversations and late night talkings about our lives; going to South Dakota and all the best things that happened with me on that trip; late night talkings in Lucia and Marie's room; and the mountains. There's so many things i'd like to say about the summer, the best moments, but it'd take so much time and space to write it down and in deep my heart i know all those moments and feelings i had. And they'll never leave me...
I'm sitting behind some families with little kids. 14 and 15 month old kids. And the fun they have and the crying and then parents having those happy faces after they babies have fallen asleep. That all makes me feel that i want to have kids. Sooner or later, i'd rather have them sooner, but i know that it's not going to happen that soon. I still have some time, but still that makes me feel so happy about that. I want to know those feelings too. Feeling that you get after your baby has fallen asleep after long and painful crying. I saw that dad holding his son in his arms and meanwhile listening to music to not to get distracted of that loud cry. Somehow it's working. And that at least 55 year old dad with his 14 month old son having that great time laughing and playing and watching cartoons and laughing.
My brother Erkki got his second son this night. It's so great and awesome. I feel so happy for them and especially for Madis who is getting a little brother now to play with. I bet he is really happy about that. And i am and i want to see my mom's face. She is really proud and happy about that thing, i'm pretty sure.
I miss my family, i miss my dad. I thought that i get a chance to see my dad as soon as possible. I had this plan to go and visit him next day and talk with him. But i think i don't get the chance to see him before a week, because of the biking marathon. I got this letter from my supervisors from Marathon club that they need me to organize the event as soon as possible because that person with whom i'm doing it together had an accident and can't do almost anything. I feel good about getting that chance, but i'd rather have some time for something else. Something i've been waiting for so long, things that i have missed most while being away from home. i guess i just have to wait for some time.
Hannah - Su hellitav hääl. I just can't describe the music Hannah is making. I want to see her again in the concert, hopefully she's going to give a concert in the Christmas time, like last year. I'm going 105% for sure. Hopefully with somebody, not alone. Her music makes me feel more like loved. Life is not that bad even when you have to leave one of the most best friends of your life. But as Marie said, the friendship you get, doesn't matter if the time is short or long you spend with them, you get the best of it and you'll never forget those people, those friends. I'm really looking forward seeing them again as soon as possible, and the time Marie or Lucia are coming to Estonia. Or who ever else. Anybody can come and you don't know how happy i'd be to see the friends again back in Estonia visiting me.
I'm really happy living the life i have. I'm happy having those emotions and people surrounding me all the time, bad or good ones. I love my life and i love my friends and my family. I know, one day if i die, i have lived the best i can take out of my life. So thank you everybody. Your love has always place in my heart and soul.
Thank You!
Leidmata Sind jäin püüdma su häält,
Leidmata sind hääbus see päev,
Leidmata sind nii vaikseks jäi maa,
sinuta hing olla ei saa.
Thanks for the best time ever. Thanks for saying good bye. I'm crying and sad, i didn't want to leave this place at all. I wish you could see into my heart and inside me, and feel those feelings i have for you. I wanted to leave the Y right after my american friends left, because i didn't know anybody else and i felt so alone. I wanted to go back home because my friends are there. Right now i have a feeling that my true friends are you guys. It sounds crazy but i didn't have any that kind of close friends. I wish we had more time to be together and maybe to be friends forever. I know that i won't forget you and we still be friends forever but i'd like to see you everyday, go to all places, have fun and be there for each other when we need it most.
The love you gave me. The way you treated me and accepted me as i am. How you saw inside of me and realized what kind of person i am. It's just not the blue eyes and blond hair. There's more inside of me and you saw that.
Again, thanks for the great time and the friendship i will have for the rest of my life. I want to see you guys as soon as possible. Thanks for everything!!
Sven
i don't know which way i'm going
i don't know which way i've come
No comments:
Post a Comment